It has literally been years since I posted anything on this blog. Time, Family and Real Estate always consume my days. But today, I really had it on my heart to share my story. In today's world we really don't hear much about miracles anymore or even people praying for them. It seems between Covid and everything else we have just become complacent to the point that we are literally just happen to be alive. So essentially we are jsut in survival mode, I mean how dare we ask God for something such as a miracle when he is keeping us alive after all. This is so far from the truth! GOD wants us to ask just like we want our children to ask us for things. He says "we have not because we ask not". Which takes me to my blog..
In 2016 Nelson and I got married. I had Lily who was 9 and Nelson never had any biological children of this own. He said he was ok with that but when I started asking him if he was sure, he wasn't. He never knew the joys of holding a newborn, especially his own. The more he thought about it the more excited he became. The only problem here was that I was 40 and he was 44. But I never had any problems getting pregnant before so I just assumed this would be a cake walk. I was so wrong! After just a few months and reading the low chances of conceiving at my age we sought out the help of a specialist. For months we traveled to Cincinnati getting fertility treatments. For months I would cry my eyes out and beg God for a child. It was taking a huge tole on me. SO many people would say "you work to much', "you stress to much" etc. but who wouldn't? My clock was ticking and I mean fast lol.
After a year or so of trying I finally became pregnant. We were beyond ecstatic! 9 weeks into the pregnancy I had a miscarriage. I just could not understand. I had prayed so hard! Nelson was shattered, Lily was crying and I just thought " I have let everyone down". Months went by and nothing. Every month I would literally lay in ,y closest floor and beg God. I knew my time was almost up. I would pray to God and say, "Lord if you did it for Hannah in the Bible and Sara you will do it for me".
I was approaching my 42nd Birthday. I said to God, "Lord if I'm not pregnant by the time I turn 42 Im done, DONE! I was emotionally and physically drained. We were spending thousands of dollars on Fertility treatments, so many trips to Cincy, I just could not bring myself to do it anymore. Sep 1st 2019 I called my Dr and said please cancel my appointments, I'm turning 42 on Sept 13th, we are going on vacation, and I'm done. She giggled and said "call me when your pregnant". I laughed at how funny that would be. With treatments we only had about a 10% chance. I dare to think of what the chance would be without.
On Oct 15th which just happened to be the day before our anniversary I woke up sick as could be. I remember thinking "Goodness 42 has hit me hard", lol. I progressively got sicker. The next day was our anniversary. I had one test left. I took it and walked away. 10 minutes later I came back and there it was! The faintest pink line Ive ever seen but it was there. I had Lily to take a look just in case my eyes were tricking me! That was the best anniversary ever! I wrote in Nelson's card "you are going to be a daddy". Our faith had prevailed and God had truly given us a miracle! All of the praying, all of the medicine, all of my bargaining with him lol. He had provided!
9 weeks into my pregnancy I had been what I describe as Deathly sick. It was all I could do to hold my head up to work. I would show houses and sleep in the car between appointments. Nelson and I had gotten up on a Saturday morning to get ready for some Open Houses. We had already made our big announcement to everyone! Nelson went on ahead of me and stayed back to eat some breakfast. When I stood up my clothes and socks were soaked in blood. Not only did I think I had lost the baby I thought I was bleeding to death! I called Nelson and he rushed me to the hospital. Thank the Lord Dr Bruner was on call. Not to be to graphic but when I set down there were huge clots coming out. My sweet friend Jan held my hand and cried with me. I just knew it was over. Nelson fell back into a chair and nearly fainted. Dr Bruner came in and decided to go ahead and do an ultrasound. I cant even make this up...there was Owen hanging out safely in my womb. It was truly a miracle! I cried even harder. I remember telling Nelson that I just knew he was a boy and that we would name him "Owen" which means young warrior. He had fought so hard to stay alive.
12 weeks later and after a little time taking it easy I decided on a Saturday that I would show 12 houses. I have no idea what I was thinking but apparently my faith was at a 100 lol. Our Christmas party was that night and I left early because I was truly exhausted. About 1:00am I woke up to the same strange feeling of something warm running down my leg. It was blood again, and a lot of it. I did not even wake anyone up I just jumped in my car and drove praying as hard as I could, straight to the hospital. Thank God Dr Bruner was there once again. This time he told me, "stop working so much or you are going to lose this baby". I was crushed. I was then referred to a specialist in Lexington. He put me on some medicines and saw me 2-3 times a week. He kept giving me small goals to make it to.
At 21 weeks I kept having a terrible pain in my side. I still had a huge clot that was bigger than Owen and threatened to wipe him out at any given time. The stress was almost unbearable. I had so many people in my office doing my work. They would show houses and I would just write the contracts and do the paperwork from my bed. Finally I decided to stop and see Dr Bruner to see exactly what the pain was. He said everything looked good. My clot was trying to dissolve but he wanted to do an ultrasound just in case. Once they did the ultrasound she asked me to walk back in there for a 2nd one. I knew something was wrong. I knew it was me and not Owen because the Dr always commented on what a beautifully perfect gift we had been given. Dr Bruner came back and explained to me that i had extremely short cervix which meant the baby was really low and could deliver at anytime. So now we have a huge clot and he can come at anytime. His chances of survival were nearly 0.
I was put back in the hospital where I was monitored every day and given a ton of medicine. I was miserable. I prayed everyday for Owen to be ok and I wanted to go home. I felt horrible that everyone was having to do my work, Nelson was worn out from driving and Lily wanted her mommy. After a week I was finally released.
Once I was released they of course were still running test. One was to determine whether or not Owen had Down Syndrome and because of Brooklynn's heart disease they had to carefully check the chambers of his heart. The chances of Owen having Down Syndrome were extremely high due to our age. I was in the school pickup line when I got the call. Mrs Weaver, the baby's test came back and it appears he has Down Syndrome. I called Nelson, I mean at this point so what if he did. I mean Brooklynn had Cerebral Palsy, I knew so many children with Down Syndrome and I think they are the cutest, sweetest children alive. But as she was hanging up the phone I remembered one thing she said. She named off the type of test it was and I started thinking. I remember Dr Bruner did that test and it was normal. So after I hung up with Nelson I called his office and sure enough he had! Not only had he performed the test it was completely negative for Down Syndrome! I called the nurse back in Lexington and after a closer look, that test was not mine!
Now we have finally made it to 26 weeks but not without multiple hospital stays. I was completely miserable! Owen was so low I could hardly walk, I was in and out of the hospital. I was just exhausted. Then about 30-32 weeks I developed what I like to call the icing on the cake lol... kidney stones. My misery literally just doubled. There really is no treatment for kidney stones when you are pregnant...none. My dr wanted me back in the hospital so I made a deal with him lol. I agreed to rent a hotel right by the hospital if he would not admit me. He reluctantly agreed. My sister drove from Knoxville to stay with me and take care of me so Nelson could work some and take care of Lily. At 35 weeks and 4 days I was in so much pain. She took me to the hospital where the checked me and released me. The very next morning I drove to my Drs office and he checked me. I was dilated to 7! He said " no wonder you are in pain you are about to deliver". I went straight upstairs where Nelson and Lily witnessed Owens birth. He was immediately taken to the NICU because of poor lung development but he weighed a whopping 7lbs! He spend 12 days there and got to come home! We name our little miracle Owen Samuel Gray. Owen- Young Warrior, Samuel-Asked of God, Gray-in older age lol.
Owen is now 2, despite some falls, swallowing a bobby pin and picking up his sisters hot straightener he is pretty normal. He also has a pretty awesome Big Sister watching over him from Heaven. Yesterday I came home from a long day of work. I set beside him while he was watching a movie. I woke up to him patting me, kissing me on the lips and saying "wub you". Miracles do still happen! All we have to do is Pray and Believe!!
