The best kiss I ever got

The best kiss I ever got

Sunday, March 27, 2011

#13 All I want for Christmas is my ...

After Brooklynn' s hip pain had progressed even further we decided to try the cortisone injections. In order to do this they would have to put her asleep at UK and go in with a large needle and insert the cortisone between her bones to keep them from grinding. We were a little nervous and a  little scared but mostly excited for Brooklynn to get some pain relief. We went early that morning and we were out in 45 min. But I didn't realize we had to set in that same waiting room and wait on her to get out of surgery that we did when she had all of the heart surgeries. My anxiety level was high when I opened that door but It's funny how things change. That room didn't look nearly as big as it did the first time I went in. I don't think it was the size of the room that scared me but the size of the giant we were facing back then.
A few months later I was brushing Brooke's teeth and the whole front of her enamel (which had slowly been chipping away due to all of her medicine) came off! I called immediately and got her an appointment with the pediatric dentist at UK. Now, after the stroke Brooklynn had an extremely bad bite reflex. When you put something in her mouth the reflex would cause her to bite down and she couldn't let go! We never dared stick our fingers in there unless it was an emergency and even then I would wrap a wash cloth around my fingers to try to cushion the bite.There was a student there that day, a young girl who was really pretty but a terrible listener, lol. I told her to please make sure that she did not stick her fingers in her mouth and told her why. She said, "oh well we have this metal clamp to hold her mouth open and there is no way she cant bit through this." I said ok and just turned my head. In just a few seconds I heard her screaming help me, get her. I turned around and began massaging Brooke's jaw to get her to release. I still couldn't help but laugh because after all I had warned her and the look on Brooke's face was priceless!
Soon the Dr came in and said that she would need crowns put on those two front teeth and again she would need surgery for that. Guess where it was? UK. Here we go again, the same waiting room but this time the surgery would take 3-4 hours. I was so thankful tho that God had prepared me by letting us set there for the hip surgery a few months earlier, he is just so good like that! We sat down and both of us again were a little scared and nervous.We barely spoke to each other because we were both praying so hard. We had prepared Brooklynn by telling her that she was getting new teeth that day! She was so excited! After about an hour my pager went off and they said, "Ms. King, the doctor is wanting to speak with you, go to the RED phone." "The red phone? The red phone? They still have the red phone? Isn't there a blue one or a yellow one I can use, does it have to be the bad news red phone? (You will have to read my earlier post to know why we dislike the red phone so much). I picked it up and it was the Dr. I stood there with tears streaming down my face. Timmy was scared to pieces. He told me that she had some abscesses so he just pulled her top teeth! Those were her permanent teeth! I know it seems so little compared to all we faced but I had made Brooke a promise, I promised her new teeth and now they are gone! The Dr said it was pretty normal in children like Brooke to pull them because of all the meds she took but again, we were crushed. We walked back to recovery and there she was. Laying with an oxygen mask that was full of blood. It really caught me off guard and I nearly fainted! I didn't think it would look that bad but I had to remind myself that we walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT.
We took her home and my funny husband came up with an idea. I know he said, let's not tell Brooke they pulled her teeth, let's tell her that she got her new teeth. Sooo...the next day she took her little tongue and was sticking it against her front teeth and Timmy said, "woo hoo, look at those new teeth sissy"! She grinned so big. I took her back to school and she smiled at Ms. Linda and she said what happened? I said look she got new teeth! Brooke was so happy with her new teeth and we got the biggest kick out of her smiling and showing them off. Lesson learned: Sometimes in the midst of heartache and trials you just have to smile and  pretend you have teeth even if you don't. Be positive and lift up God even when you think you cant. Don't be devourable to the devil!  The bible says Satin wanders too and fro seeking whom he may devour.What makes us devourable? Our very words and actions! If it were Sat morning and you wanted to go to a yard sale what would you do. Would you get in your car and drive all over Somerset and hope to run into a yard sale? No! You would get in your car and search for signs, yard sale signs. Satin does the same thing. He goes around looking for signs and if he passes by your house and there are all of these negative words coming out like "I don't know why we have to got through this, our lives are so bad, God never does anything for me..."  then Satin hears those words,  slams on the breaks and says, "Ok, Ill be stopping right here!"

Sunday, March 20, 2011

#12-"Brook-land, is that you"

One of Brookie's favorite things to do was go down to the beach and listen to the waves. We would squeeze her in her teeny weeny kini, smother her in 5 layers of 50 sunblock, put on her cool shades and off we would go! Daddy would go before us and lay out her lawn chair and umbrella and we took a cooler for her pediasure. She would lay there for hours and just listen. But this trip to the beach was a little different.
Poppa and Nana had asked us to go to Florida with them one summer and we were so excited! They are always so much fun to travel with and we knew we would have a blast. Poppa made the reservations and when we got there everything was perfect. Our room overlooked the pool, tiki hut and lagoon. There was even a wedding taking place right below us that we got to watch. We unpacked everything and we just hung out and talked the first night. The next day we headed down to the beach. Brookle and Amber had matching bikinis (which we didn't plan). Poppa and Timmy had went down and set up a big tent for Brooklynn.
But when I got down there she was crying. That was very unusual for Brooklynn to cry because she had such a high pain tolerance. She got shots all the time, IV's, finger pokes and none of those ever made her cry. The nurse said one day that she just wished she would cry so she wouldn't feel so bad because those big brown eyes glaring at her made her feel awful.
So, the next day I decided to just lay her by the pool and see how that went. She screamed! But then I would lay her on her other side and she was fine. It was the strangest thing. Later that evening we took her shopping. She was agonizing in pain. Poppa came up with an idea that I could ride in an adult wheelchair and hold her and he would push me. So here we went through the store me riding in a wheelchair with Brookie on my lap and Poppa pushing us, laughing all the way. The whole rest of the vacation I spent in the room with Brooke giving her Tylenol every 4 hours. Then I noticed that it was her hip that was hurting her so bad.
When we got home I immediately took her to her doctor who referred us to Shriner's. We got in in just a few days. We were setting in the waiting room when I heard an African American lady say, "Brook-land is that you?" I looked around the corner and there stood Valerie! She was the nurse in ICU at the hospital when Brooklynn was born who had been so hard on me. I grabbed her and hugged her neck. She was so thrilled to see us. We sat down and talked and she said, "I knew you was going to be a good mom, that's why I was so rough on you." It was such a blessing to see her!
Soon after the doctor came in and ran xrays and there it was. Her hip had come completely out of socket and lodged up against her bone. One of her legs instantly had become almost 2 inches shorter than the other. It was so painful that adults who had it would have immediate surgery but that wasn't really an option for Brooke. If they did surgery she would be in a cast from her waist to her feet making it impossible to change her or move her. That wasn't the bad part, the bad part was that she only had a 50% chance of living through the surgery. The doctor suggested that we do cortisone injections in between the bones so that they wouldn't grind when we moved her. We were so brokenhearted. Timmy and I just sat there and cried in that room. One of the nurses came in and prayed with us. We prayed continuously that God would heal her but God knew his plan. The Bible says His ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. This week I read this in my devotion and its exactly what I've been saying since Brooke was born. Often well, always we walk through things for 3 reasons: 1.) So that we will be able to comfort those who are in affliction-when people know you walked through it they will listen to you. 2.) That we would not trust in ourselves but in God-Anything that causes us to turn to God (sickness, divorce, job loss) is an asset not a liability. 3.)That thanks maybe given-Do you remember where God has brought you from. Instead of focusing on the bad begin to thank him this week and pray that he will in return make you a light to others!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

#11 The Smile

Everyday of Brooke's life had its challenges. One thing we didn't do however was worry. We always thought of the scripture that said take no thought for tomorrow for sufficient is the evil in the day thereof. We knew Brooke would get sick and have to go to the hospital but if we woke up and she was well, then it was a wonderful day, if we woke up and she was sick we just went to the hospital, stayed about a week hung out together until she got better. That was basically our life but it was an awesome one.  Brooklynn spent 85% of her life in the hospital which included some Christmas's, birthdays and other holidays but she never complained. She taught me so much about what it meant to have the faith as a child. Did I think she would ever die? No! That wasn't even an option for us, the thought never ever even crossed our minds. Sure she would get pretty sick but I would always tell her that God didn't teach her to swim to let her drown. He who began a good work in her would be faithful to complete it until the end. We had some close calls tho.
Brooklynn had some major stomach issues. She  had a hiatal hernia along with severe acid reflux disease. It would cause projectile vomiting which we were very use to until the day came when her excessive vomiting turned to blood. She would vomit up 3 or 4 times a day pure blood. She was hospitalized over and over with no clear answers as to why this was occurring. I'll never forget one day when we were here at the hospital they called a local ENT to come and check her. He walked in, pushed her head back, sprayed some numbing med down her throat and then ran a light into her nose. I stood in the corner and cried. Not because I was sad but because I was angry. He had'nt told her anything that was going on, never even spoke to her and there she was looking at me like, "what is going on." I would love to say that God miraculously healed her stomach but that didn't happen. She was hospitalized again and again for the same thing. But one thing I never forgot was this. When I would lay with her in the bed holding her head up while she would vomit bucket fulls of blood she would look over at me as sick as she was and smile.She didn't say, "mommy why me, why is God doing this to me, I don't deserve this." She simply just smiled.
 That smile showed me more things than any Pastor, Teacher of Prophet could have ever told me. She showed me no matter what I faced or had faced God would bring me through. She made me realize that just because life wasn't the way I wanted it to be I could still have the joy and peace of God that surpasses all understanding. But most of all it showed me that if I kept my eyes on him I would be a winner every time.
This week has been a hectic week, full of bad news but we don't have to look at the bad. God never promised us a perfect life, even Paul spoke many times about the thorn in his flesh but he also said whatever state I find myself in I maketh  myself content. My challenge for you this week is to take the magnifying glass off of your problems and began to magnify him. Don't look at any of the circumstances but keep your eyes on God and he will put that same smile on your face that  hell and all of its forces could never wipe off.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

#10-God sends confirmation

I am a true believer in confirmation. God says in his word that he will not do anything unless he first reveals it to his prophets (Amos 3:7). Whenever we felt uncertainty in areas concerning us or Brooklynn God was always there to give us reassurance. It started from the time she was born, I was sitting at the Ronald McDonald house and a lady walked up to me and said, "I don't know your name but God has told me to tell you that you are not to blame for your daughters sickness, he is not punishing you." Then  there was the multiple times we would be in a restaurant or a store and someone would walk up to us and ask to pray for Brooklynn or just reassure us that God was in control of our situation.And we will never ever forget the time we went to the Smokey Mountains and stopped at an old home place to show Brooke and there was a mysterious man who kept following us and smiling. Finally when we go to the end he walked up to us and said that he had been watching us and the way we cared for Brooke and that God had sent him to tell us that she was going to be ok. He said he was there with his wife but there was no one else or no cars there. When we left he was standing in the middle of the hwy waving to us and smiling. I looked at Timmy and told him not to look back again because I was pretty sure he was going to disappear. When we got home Brooke immediately got sick and was hospitalized but God had already let us know she was going to be ok.
When it came time for us to find a new church God again confirmed where we should be. We were driving 2 days a week to Stanford to an awesome church but the drive was getting a bit too much. We had driven by Victory several times but this day was a little diff. As we drove by I heard God speak to me clearly and say, "your families ministry will develop out of Victory." I looked at Timmy and said, "God said our ministry will be developed there, think we should go?" LOL. Our first night there was the night of Heavens Gates Hells Flames (which by the way is coming this month). I was nervous about us being there for the first time because I wasn't sure where we would set Brookie and her wheelchair. Ill never forget that night walking in the door and a tall grey haired man(who later became Poppa) met us at the door. He said, "are you the king family", I said "yes we are". He then said, "Good, we have your seats reserved right up here and we have pulled a chair for Brooke's wheelchair, if you need anything at all you just look at me and I'll get it." Wow, I had never been treated so well in a church in my life. As a matter of fact the last church we went to they had asked us to carry Brooke in so her wheelchair wouldn't be in the way. It wasn't long after that they asked us to greet. I wasn't sure how I could do that and leave Brooklynn up front by herself but that was not what they asked. They wanted all of us to greet, Brooklynn included. She had her very own name tag and I would lay the bulletins on her lap. Every Sunday I would roll her up to her seat and there was a paper on the floor that said, "this spot is for Brooklynn and these seats are for her parents". We found a new family there. Poppa and Nana, Amanda & Amber became family to us. If Brooke got sick all we had to do was call and say we are on our way to the hospital and they would beat us there. God new exactly who and what we needed in our lives and once again her provided. I always wondered what ministry God had for our family. To me at the time it didn't look like we had much to offer. Sure we attended and worked at all the church events, Brooke included but I thought serving God required more. I thought we had to be up on stage with bright lights, be able to play music, sing or what have you but unfortunately none of us possessed any of those talents. One day I prayed and asked, "Lord, where do we fit in, what is it that you have called us to do?" He immediately answered and said, "I have called you to be Tim, Millie, Brooklynn & Tabetha King." I then thought, that's it! Sure we only stand at the door and smile but hey that's what we are supposed to do. God isn't looking for our abilities, he wants our availability! Amazingly enough just from Brooklynn sitting in her wheelchair at that door every Sunday she totally changed peoples lives. She didn't speak, she didn't walk she was just available and God used her. Just this week I was showing a house to an older lady who said, "Millie, I always wanted to tell you something. I have awful health and I struggled to get out of bed every Sunday for church. But I would look at little Brooklynn sitting at that door and think.. God, if she can get up early, get ready, come here and serve in her condition surely I can just come and sit on the pew and listen.
Let Brooklynn be a reminder or a confirmation to you today that it doesn't have to be the big things you do for God that pleases him, it can be the small tiny ones. Brooklynn took her candle though it may have looked broken and shined the light for the whole world to will you do with yours?