Where do we go from here? I hadn't been without Brooklynn by my side since the day she was born. I didn't know what to do, I was almost in a panic. For almost 11 years we did everything together, when I ate..she ate, when I slept...she slept, everywhere I went she was with me and now I would have to learn to live without her....but how?
That day after they took Brooklynn so many came to pay their respects. It was so nice to have that comfort of people who cared and loved her so much plus we were not to thrilled with having to be alone. We were all looking at photos of Brooklynn and talking when I heard the phone ring. Someone looked at caller id and said, "oh no, it's Jeremy".( Jeremy was the little boy I mentioned earlier who was in love with Brooklynn). I told them not to answer because I didn't know how I would break the news to him of her passing, little did I know I didn't need to. The answering machine came on and there was his little voice, "Hi this is Jeremy...I know where my Brookie is...she is gone to heaven." No one had told him Brooklynn had passed away, it had only happened a couple of hours earlier but God had let him know and allowed him to somehow understand.
I got out some letters and read them from Brooklynns classmates to pass the time. The news soon came on and Brooklynn again had made the top story with her passing. It was then I began to realize that not only had she changed our life but she had changed a whole community's life.
Soon it started to get dark and people began to thin out. All I could think of was how can I sleep without her. So finally I grabbed my Bible, gripped it as tightly as possible and cried myself to sleep and thats how I slept..not just for one night but for weeks and months.
The next day we had to go make funeral arrangements. Pastor Mark and some friends and family went with us. We wanted her service to be at the church because that is where she served and she loved it there. We had a friend put together a video of pictures of Brooke and the song we picked out was "take your candle and go light your world.". At the end of the video I had him to insert this, "Brooklynn took her candle and light the whole world....now what will you do with yours?" I wanted people to know that if she could serve God in her physical condition so could they. We picked out her remembrance cards and had candles placed on the front of them.
Now it was time for the hard part..the casket. I remember them opening that door and it felt like all the oxygen in that room had been sucked out. My knees felt like jello and my head was swimming. Pastor Mark held mine and Timmys arm and said, "I'm right here praying". I glanced over the room and I saw a sweet ivory and pink casket. I knew that was the one. We quickly scurried out the door to where it felt like we could breath again.
Brooklynns layout was on Memorial day weekend so we would have to have a funeral on Sunday with a private burial that Tuesday. The next day the funeral home called and asked who we wanted to do Brooklynns hair. I immediately said, "I will, I did her hair for almost 11 years and now this was a day to honor her and I was not about to let her down.
My sisters and friends met me there. I curled her sweet little hair...she looked like an angel. And I know what your thinking...how did I do that?? So many times I wanted to just lay down there beside her in that funeral home floor and die, I can't lie. It was all I could do to keep myself together, it was truly the grace of God that held me there. But all I could think was, "it's not about me, its about Brooklynn. This is her day to be honored."