The best kiss I ever got

The best kiss I ever got

Sunday, April 24, 2011

#17-The news that no parent ever wants to hear -Part 3

I finally found my way out of wherever I was and I headed to school. I hated telling Ms. Linda as bad as I hated  being told myself. She loved Brooke so much too and I knew this news would probably crush her. I remember walking down that hallway of that school. There were so many good memories there. I also remember thinking "this is it", "this is the very end of everything." I asked Ms. Linda to walk me out to the van and I told her that Brooke wouldn't be back to school, she was only given days to live and  we wanted to spend her last days at home with her. She agreed and just as I expected she was crushed. I slowly pulled out of the parking lot for the last time and we went home where Timmy was waiting on us.
That evening about 5:00pm, Brooklynn spiked a fever of 104. I immediately called Dr Cottrill just like she told me to and we took her straight to U.K. We went through the ER where we were taken immediately to MRI. I went in with her and I remember her laying there so still. She was the best little girl and its like she knew that we really needed that test. I stood there beside her praying that there would be a miracle. That God had allowed her heart and brain to be healed.
They admitted her and the next day the doctor who was on call would make his rounds and tell us the results.
We were hanging out laying in the bed playing and watching TV when  I saw the doctor go by with all of the interns. A few minutes later he went by again, and then again but he never came into our room. We were praying so hard for a miracle. And I thought that maybe he was saving our room till the end, you know..the best news for last. But that was not what God had planned.
The doctor finally came in but this time he was alone. He had made his rounds with the interns but he wanted to talk to us alone. When I saw tears streaming down his face I knew it was time to accept what had been laid before us. It was just like Dr Cottrill had said. Her little brain had deteriorated over the past 10 years. Soon her body would begin to shut down. After he left I walked out of the room to get some air. When I opened my door I saw all of the nurses standing there with tears in their eyes. As I walked away I even heard a nurse say, "there's the lady who's daughter is dying." I have never felt so helpless in my life. I went outside and set on a bench and cried like a baby. I was a mad at God and I just wanted to tell him. I layed it all out before him right there on that bench and I didn't care who saw or heard me.I was sure there had been some kind of a mistake, she was only 10yrs old.  A mother should never outlive her child. I remember praying, "please make this stop, please. I don't want to be that lady who's daughter is dying. You can fix this God, I know you can. Please please Make.. This... Go...Away!

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